Private I
美音、自然拼读、分级阅读与词汇复习
Anagrams and Palindromes As I sat in my office penning the daily newspaper crossword puzzle, slits of light leaked through the Venetian blinds and onto my desk.
图表和图表 当我坐在我的办公室 写日报填字谜题时, 光片从威尼斯的百叶窗漏出, 并在我的桌子上。
Then, suddenly, she walked in, dressed to the nines with all her i’s dotted and t’s crossed.
突然间,她走进来,穿好衣服,穿好9号衣服,我满嘴胡言乱语。
“Are you Word Smith, the famous Private I?”
“你是Word Smith, 著名的一等兵吗? “
she asked.
她问。
“That depends,” I asked back, “on who’s asking.”
我回问“这要看情况”, “
“My name is Hannah Eve Hannah.
“我的名字是汉娜·夏娃·汉娜。
Maybe you’ve heard of me?”
或许你听说过我吗? “
Hannah Eve Hannah was the heiress of the alphabet soup fortune.
汉娜·夏娃·汉娜是字母汤财的继承人.
I tried to remain calm.
我试图保持冷静。
“Maybe I have,” I said coolly, peering back at my crossword.
“也许我已经,”我冷酷地说,回过头来回顾我的填字法。
“Ten down: ‘Mix up the letters to make a new word,’ seven letters starting with an ‘a.’”
" 三下:"将字母相加来作一新字,"从‘a.
“Easy,” she said, “anagram.”
她说,“简单,”“anagram。 “
“And that’s ‘a yes,’” I said.
我说,
“Which is an anagram of ‘easy,’” she said.
她说,“这是`容易'的动词”。
I could tell she was my kind of person—a wordplay person.
我看得出来她是我那种人 一个字游戏的人
“Hannah, did you know that your name is a palindrome, the same word backward and forward?”
“汉纳,你知道你的名字是古老的古老名词吗? “
“I know that,” she replied, “but if you know that, then you must be Word Smith, the private detective, specializing in cases that have to do with parts of speech, punctuation, and language.
“我知道,”她回答说,“但如果你知道,那你一定是私人侦探斯密特(Word Smith),专门处理与言论、语调和语言部分有关的案件。
Am I right?”
是吗? “
She had me pegged like a wooden hatrack, nailed like a post to a fence, cornered like a...
她让我像木头一样被钉住 像柱子被钉在栅栏上 像被一个...
like a...
就像一个...
I couldn’t come up with another simile, so until I did, I figured I might as well take the case.
我无法再拿出一分钱,
“What is it you need me to do?
“你需要我做什么?
Find a misplaced modifier?
找到一个错误的修饰符吗 ?
Rescue a dangling participle?
营救一个流浪汉?
Subordinate a clause?”
附属条款? “
“Nothing that simple, word-boy.
“没有那么简单,字面上的男孩。
I need you to decipher the meaning of these notes, which came wrapped around a brick thrown through a window in Daddy’s factory.”
我需要你解析这些笔记的意义, 这些笔记是用砖头包裹的, “
She handed me three slips of paper, each one with a separate message: “Never odd or even,” “Runs a treat,” and “Live evil.”
她递给我三张纸片 每张纸上都有条留言 “永远不要奇怪甚至”“狂欢”和“活生生的邪恶”。 “
“‘Live evil’ is a palindrome,” I said, “and the calling card of a master criminal, the PUNisher.”
" `活生生的邪恶 ' 是一种花花公子, " 我说: " 以及一个主犯 -- -- Punisher的召唤卡。 “
My old foe was loose again.
我的老敌人又松了
“‘Never odd or even’ is another palindrome, but also a riddle—what number is ‘never odd or even’?”
“`绝不奇怪甚至'是另一个难题,但也是一个谜语——`绝不奇怪甚至'是多少数字? “
I was drawing a blank, coming up empty, getting nothing, zip, zilch, zero—that was it— zero, zero is neither odd nor even, yet, I doubted zero could be the answer.
我画了一个空白的, 空出一来, 得到什么, zip,zilch,零,就是它,零,零既不奇怪, 也不甚至, 然而,我怀疑零可能是答案。
Why?
为什么?
The PUNisher never gives a straight answer, so it had to be a clue—and to think that fiend used to be a friend of mine, until he stole the “r.”
PUNISHER从来没有给出一个直截了当的答案,所以它必须是一个线索——并且认为那个恶魔曾经是我的朋友,直到他偷了"r".
“Another way to say ‘zero’ is ‘goose egg,’ right?
" 另一种说"零"的方式是"鹅蛋",对吗?
That must be what we’re looking for, but where?”
这一定是我们要找的,但在哪里? “
“A farm?”
“农场? “
suggested Hannah.
建议汉娜。
“A pond?”
“池塘? “
“Too literal—check the other note.”
" 字面意思太过——检查另一条注。 “
“‘Runs a treat’?”
" `开胃菜'? “
she read aloud.
她大声读。
“Anagram it,” I said.
我说了“说吧,”
“Using the same letters, what type of place ‘runs a treat’?”
" 使用同一封信,哪一种地方`会享受? “
For a while we scratched our heads, contemplating, then Hannah said, “Restaurant!”
汉纳说“Restaurant!
“Nice going, kid, eggs-actly.”
"干得漂亮,孩子,蛋其实。 “
But what restaurant would serve a goose egg?
但哪家餐厅会卖鹅蛋?
A fowl place for sure.
当然是禽兽之地
(Sorry.)
对不起。
We checked the Internet for poultry joints in the area: “Chicken Little,” nah, “The Hen Pen,” nope, “You Turkey,” no—but I did like their slogan, “Where it’s Thanksgiving 365 days a year.”
我们查了网路上的家禽关节:“小鸡,”nah,“Hen Pen,” nope,“你土耳其”,不,但我确实喜欢他们的口号,“每年感恩节365天。 “
“The Dead Duck.”
“死鸭子”。
We were getting closer.
我们越来越接近。
“Your Goose Is Cooked,” that was it!
“你的鹅被煮了,”就是这样!
Hinky Pinky On the way to the restaurant, I thought back about my days on the force—our days—the PUNisher and I were rookies together on the grammar patrol.
辛克・平奇 在去餐厅的路上,我回想起我在部队的日子——我们的日子——PUNISHER和我在文法巡逻时是新手。
We worked the streets, cleaning up people’s speech and fixing their spelling errors.
清理人们的演讲,
Yeah, it was a tough job, but someone had to do it.
是啊,这是一个艰难的工作, 但有人必须这样做。
Imagine a world where people put i before e even after c—there would be chaos!
想象一个人们把我放在e之前的世界 即使C之后... 就会有混乱!
The PUNisher, then known as Webster White, got mad when people told him to buzz off for correcting their syntax.
当时被称为"Webster White"的普尼舍人,当人们叫他去纠正他们的语法时,他生气了.
He thought they should thank him and invite him over for a game of Scrabble, but you can’t go into this line of work looking to make friends, you know what I mean?
他觉得他们应该感谢他,邀请他过来玩拼字游戏,
Webster took it personally and wanted revenge.
韦伯斯特亲自接受,想报仇.
Since he felt unappreciated, he left the force to do the job on his own, his own way, even if it was against the rules of grammar.
由于他觉得自己没有受到好评,所以他离开部队,只靠自己,自己的方式完成任务,即使这违背了语法规则.
Unfortunately, on the way to the restaurant, I got lost in thought: if the plural of mouse is mice, why isn’t the plural of house ‘hice’ and if more than one man is ‘men,’ why isn’t more than one pan ‘pen?’
不幸的是,在去餐厅的路上,我迷了路:如果老鼠的复数是老鼠,为什么房子的复数不是"希斯",如果不止一个人是"男人",为什么不不止一个"平"? " ; "
By the time we arrived at the restaurant, the PUNisher had vanished.
当我们到达餐厅时 普尼舍已经消失了
I was correct, he had been there, and I confirmed this by interviewing his waiter, Otto.
我是对的,他去过那里,我通过采访他的服务员奥托来证实这一点。
“A short time ago, faster than you can say ‘a salami sandwich on rye, hold the mayo,’ did you serve a man a goose egg?”
" 不久之前,你比你说得快 : “ 黑麦地上香肠三明治, 拿着蛋黄酱, ” 你为一个人服务过鹅蛋吗? “
“Yes—and it was nothing, bada-bing,” he said, sounding suspiciously like a third-rate stand-up comedian.
他说,“是的,这没什么,巴达宾,”听起来可疑地像一个三流的喜剧演员。
“Did he order anything else?”
“他还订了别的吗? “
“A jumbo hot dog that I know he took a mighty great pleasure in consuming.”
“我知道,一只大热狗极乐消费。 “
“How do you know that?”
“你怎么会知道? “
asked Hannah.
问汉娜。
That was a mistake.
这是一个错误。
Being a Private I, I could see—and hear—the painful pun coming.
作为私人 我,我可以看到,听到,痛苦的双关语来了。
“Well,” twitched Otto, holding back a smile, “he ate it with relish.”
“好吧,”让Otto抽搐了,他拿起一笑一笑,“他喜欢吃它。 “
“Oh,” groaned Hannah in horror, “that was a brutally bad joke.”
“哦,”惊恐地叹息了Hannah,“这是一个残忍的恶作剧。 “
“Speaking of bad jokes,” said Otto, “what do you call a rabbit that tells jokes?”
Otto说,“说出坏笑话来,”Otto说,“你叫一只讲笑话的兔子是什么? “
“A funny bunny,” I said.
我说"一只有趣的兔子"
“What do you call a dog that falls into a pool?”
“你把掉入游泳池的狗称为什么? “
“A soggy doggy.”
“一只小狗。 “
“What do you call a squashed feline?”
“什么叫被压扁的花纹? “
“A flat cat.”
“一只平地猫。 “
“Stop it,” cried Hannah, “I can’t take any more!”
“停下来,”汉娜喊道,“我再也受不了了!”
These terrible jokes with rhyming punch lines are called Hinky Pinkys.
这些有韵律的可怕笑话被称作"平克"(Hinky Pinkys).
As a wordplay pro, I knew that in the wrong hands, they could be deadly.
作为话剧职业,我知道在坏人手中,他们可能是致命的。
Then it dawned on me, like the East Coast at six in the morning—the PUNisher had somehow turned Otto into a bad-joke-telling zombie!
然后,它突然出现在我身上,就像早上六点的东海岸一样。 奥托变成一个恶作剧的僵尸!
Consequently, an army of zombie jokers would make life miserable for everyone else with their nonstop punning and painful wordplaying.
因此,僵尸小丑的军队会让其他人的生活变得悲惨,他们不停地大声疾呼并痛苦地说出话来。
The English language would be destroyed!
英语会被摧毁!
My only hope was to get Otto out of this trance.
我唯一的希望就是让奥托摆脱这种痴迷
So as any noble detective would do, I tied him tightly to a chair —but not before he got in a few more shots.
因此,正如任何高贵的侦探会做的那样,我把他紧紧地绑在椅子上——但是在他再拍几张照片之前没有.
“That suits me, said the tailor.”
“裁缝说,这很适合我。 “
“Ouch!”
"乌!"
cried Hannah.
汉娜哭了。
“That’s shocking, said the electrician.”
电工说, “
“Yikes!”
"哎哟!"
she shrieked.
她尖叫着。
“Help, piped up the plumber, from under the sink.”
“帮助,从水槽下打通水管。 “
“Please make him stop, Word!”
"请让他停下来,言语!"
I thought of gagging Otto, but once the gag was removed he’d start gagging it up again.
我本想和Otto聊天,
Therefore, my only hope was to tie up his tongue along with the rest of his body.
因此,我唯一的希望是把他的舌头和他身体的其余部分绑起来。
“Repeat after me,” I said to the waiter, “five times fast.”
我对服务员说:“5次快。 “
“Five times fast,” he said.
他说,“五倍快”。
“No, quickly repeat what I’m about to say five times, you nitwit.”
“不,快重复我要说的五次,你这个笨蛋。 “
“Okay.”
“好吧。”
“She sells seashells by the seashore.”
“她在海边出售海贝。 “
It was a tough tongue twister, and I knew I was taking a risk having him say it, yet I concluded that all that blubbering similar consonant sounds would either knock some sense into him, or knock him senseless.
这是一个很难的舌头扭曲器, 我知道我在冒着风险 让他说出来, 但我的结论是,所有 流出类似相通的声音 要么敲打一些感官到他, 要么敲打他毫无意义。
“She sells seashells by the seashore, she sells seashells by the she saw, she shells seesaws...”
“她出售海鲜在海边,她出售海鲜由她所看到,她还出售锯子...... “
and that’s when he blanked out.
那时,他已回避。
Who’s That Knock-Knocking at My Door?
谁敲我的门?
“Knock, knock,” I said, knocking gently on Otto’s noggin before he awoke, groggy and blurry-eyed.
我说,“敲门,敲门,”在奥托醒来前轻轻地敲打他的鼻孔,弄出一团糟,眼睛模糊。
“Who’s there?”
" 谁在那里? “
“Word Smith,” I said.
我说了“Word Smith,”
“Word Smith?
“Word Smith吗?
Who?”
谁?”
“Word Smith, Private I.”
“词语史密斯，私家侦探 I。”
Technically, that wasn’t a knock-knock joke, but I wasn’t trying to be funny—or unfunny.
这不是个敲门笑话,
“Never heard of him,” Otto said.
奥托说,“从来没有听说过他。”
“Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a job to do.”
「如果你不介意, “
“Torture innocent people with painfully bad jokes?”
“用痛苦的恶作剧折磨无辜的人? “
said Hannah.
汉娜说。
“No, wait on customers.”
“不,等待顾客。 “
So my tongue twister had done the job.
所以我的舌头扭了一下
The waiter was no longer under the PUNisher’s spell, but we still had to uncover what that fink was up to—and to think that rat used to rate grammar with me, until he stole the e.
服务员不再受Punisher的咒语所支配, 但我们仍得揭开那条狐狸的本意,
“Did your last customer leave you a tip?”
“最后一位顾客给你留了小费吗? “
I asked Otto.
我问了奥托。
“No,” Otto said, “but here’s his tip: ‘Don’t talk to strangers with your mouth full.’
“不,”奥托说,“但这是他的提示:`不要满口胡言。 " ; "
Then he continued: ‘Today is a red-letter day, and by tomorrow, all the letters that are read will be mine.’”
他接着说:今天是红信日,到明天,所有被读到的字母都将是我的. “`......”
Red letters?
红信?
Letters that are read?
读的信?
What could that mean?
这是什么意思?
“I’ve got it,” said Hannah, “the PUNisher’s going to steal all the letters from Daddy’s alphabet soup factory.”
Hannah说,“我得到了,”Punisher将偷走爸爸的字母汤厂的所有信件。 “
That was it: if the PUNisher had control of all the letters, he could control all the words and with that, the entire English language; proper spelling, proper punctuation, and proper grammar would be strictly enforced—anyone caught breaking the rules would be sentenced to hard labor, splitting infinitives.
这就是:如果普尼舍控制了所有的字母,他可以控制所有的词,用它来控制整个英语语言;适当的拼写,适当的平分,适当的语法会被严格执行——任何被抓到违反规则的人将被处以苦役,分出无限.
“To the alphabet soup factory in a jiffy!”
“在一瞬间到字母汤厂去!”
I declared, yet we couldn’t find a jiffy, so we flagged down a taxi.
我宣布, 然而我们找不到一丝不苟,
Puns of Fun We arrived at the factory just as the PUNisher was vacuuming up the last Z into a gigantic truck marked “A 2 Z 4 U,” proving that Hannah was right: he was stealing all the letters.
欢乐的朋斯 我们来到工厂时,普尼舍正在把最后的Z吸入一辆标记为"A 2 Z 4 U"的大型卡车,证明汉娜是对的:他偷了所有信件。
“Webster,” I said, “stop!”
“韦伯斯特,” 我说,“住手!”
“That’s ‘pots’ backwards, or you can anagram the letters to make ‘tops’ or ‘spot.’”
" 这是 " pots " 倒行逆施,或者你可以将字母缩写成 " spots " 或 " spots " 。
Same old Webster, I thought.
和韦伯斯特一样
“I would have thought a flashy Private I could come up with a more difficult word for me to anagram like halt or desist.
“我本可以想到一个闪闪发光的二等兵,我可以用一个更困难的字来形容,比如停止或停止。
You’re losing your touch with words, Word.”
你正在失去与言语的接触,
“Hardly, old friend, give me your best pot-shot.”
“老友,请给我你最好的一击。 “
The PUNisher fired up his pun-gun.
普尼舍人发了便枪.
“What do mummies dance to?”
“木乃伊跳舞是为了什么? “
“Wrap music.”
“乐谱”。
“What does a clock do when it’s hungry?”
“一个钟在饥饿时会做什么? “
“Go back four seconds.”
“回到四秒钟。 “
“What’s a barber’s motto?”
“理发师的座右铭是什么? “
“Hair today, gone tomorrow.”
“今天,明天就走了。 “
“Okay, so you’re still a punny guy, but I’m the one with all the letters, and soon, I’ll make sure all the rules are followed, period, exclamation point!”
“好吧,你还是个傻子, 但我是所有信件的主人,
“You’re the one who has lost it, Webster.
“你才是失去它的人,韦伯斯特。
You’re such a stickler for proper speech that you have forgotten how to have fun with phonics, play with pronouns, laugh at language.”
却忘记如何与配音、代名词、语言取笑。 “
“Ha!
“哈! (掌声)
My puns put the ‘ugh’ in laugh—I can beat you at any wordplay game, Wordy, so name your weapon.”
我的双关语在笑 我可以在任何文字游戏中打败你,Wordy, 所以命名你的武器。 “
“All right, we’ll spin spoonerisms: I’ll say a phrase, and you’ll have to switch the initial sounds of some of the words to make a new phrase.”
“好吧,我们先说句句子:我要说一句,你必须把一些词的开头音调换成一个新词。 “
“No problem, or shall I say, pro noblem?”
“没有问题,或者我应该说,亲贵族吗? “
“Word, be careful,” cried Hannah.
" Word, be careful, " 呼喊着汉娜。
“He’s good.”
" 他是个好人。 “
I knew he was good, but I was better—or worse, at least from the point of view of wordplay, where silly and stupid trump straight and narrow.
我知道他很好,但我更好 -- -- 或者更糟,至少从文字游戏的角度来看,愚蠢和愚蠢会直接和狭窄地超越。
“Here goes: ‘Know your blows because nicking your pose means you have very mad banners.’”
“这里写道:`了解你的打击,因为偷取你的姿势意味着你有非常疯狂的旗帜。 “`......”
“Don’t you mean: ‘Blow your nose because picking your nose means you have very bad manners’?”
" 难道你的意思是: ”“拍下你的鼻子,因为摘取你的鼻子意味着你非常不礼貌?” “
Round one, the PUNisher.
第1轮,普尼舍人.
Now it was his turn to try to stump me.
现在轮到他 试图砍我。
“Hiss and leer.
“他和Ler。
It’s time to send the mails of our cattle chips and bruisers.”
我们的牛片和瘀伤者应该寄出邮件。 “
“Don’t you mean: ‘Listen hear.
" 难道你的意思是:`听好。
It’s time to mend the sails of our battleships and cruisers’?”
现在是时候修补我们战列舰和巡洋舰的风帆了? “
“Well done, Word, go again.”
“做得好,文字,再来一遍。 “
“Wait,” interrupted Hannah, “you two are too evenly matched—we’ll be fear however, I mean here forever—let’s decide this dispute with one ultimate riddle.
" 等等, " 打断了Hannah, " 你们俩的配对太平了 -- -- 但是,我们会害怕的,我的意思是永远在这里 -- -- 让我们用一个最终的谜语来决定这场争端。
If the PUNisher answers correctly, he gets the letters and dominates the dictionary, but if Word is right, the letters stay, and the PUNisher makes like a tree and leaves.”
如果普尼舍答对了,他得到字母并主导了词典,但是如果"Word"是正确的,字母就留下了,而"普尼舍"则会像一棵树并离开. “
“A riddle?
“谜语?
I invented riddles,” laughed the PUNisher.
我发明了谜语,
“You’re on.”
" 你上场了。 “
“Hannah, he’s the wizard of riddles.”
“汉纳,他是谜语的法师。 “
“But you have the gift of illogical logic, Word.”
“但你拥有不合逻辑的逻辑,
Then she gave me a hug, and I took it.
然后,她给了我一个拥抱, 我把它。
“You two have ten seconds,” said Hannah, “so tell me: ‘Two wrongs don’t make a right, but three of these, do.’”
Hannah说,“你们有10秒时间,”所以告诉我:`两个错误不能做一个正确的事情,但其中三个错误就是正确的事情。
This was new for me, but it reminded me of my daily crossword puzzles—I stole a look at the PUNisher and spied a cocky smirk on his face.
这对我来说是新的,但它让我想起了我每天的填字谜题—— 我偷看普尼舍 偷看一个自大的笑容
“Seven seconds.”
“七秒钟。 “
I got lost in thought again, walking one way, then another, then another.
我又迷失了思想 走了一条路 然后又走了另一条路
“Three seconds.”
“三秒钟。 “
Then it struck me like a clock at midnight.
午夜时分我像时钟一样被击中
I snagged another glimpse at the PUNisher to see if he knew the answer.
我又偷窥了普尼舍 看看他是否知道答案
He hadn’t moved.
他没有搬走。
However, the smirk on his face had vanished.
然而,他脸上的笑容已经消失。
“Time’s up,” called Hannah, “two wrongs don’t make a right, but three of these do.”
“时间到了,”汉娜称,“两个错误不能做正确的事,但其中三个错误做。 “
“Uhm,” said the PUNisher meekly, “three wrongs?”
普尼舍·温柔地说,“三个错误? “
“No,” I said coolly, “it’s three left turns.
“不,”我冷静地说,“这是三个左转。
See, I turned left, then left, and left again, and suddenly I was facing in the right direction.”
你看,我左转,然后左转,然后再次左转,突然我朝正确的方向对着. “
“Absolutely right,” cried Hannah and added an e to the hug to make it huge.
“绝对正确,” 哭着Hannah, 在拥抱中加了个e, 使它变得巨大。
We won!
我们赢了!
The letters were ours.
那些信是我们的。
“I’ll be back!”
「我会回来的!
yelled the PUNisher, who left in a huff—then again, it might have been a minute and a huff; we were hugging for quite a while.
喊着普尼舍尔,他在呼声中离去,然后,那可能是一分钟和一圈;我们拥抱了一段时间。